Sam told me he’s in love with his coworker/best friend/lover/etc. today. I should have realized it sooner but i didnt want to believe. I was all optimisitc and happy when he told me, and very gung ho on not having a problem finding someone else. But now that the sticker shock has worn off, i’m a little down. Just feel like I still like him and i wish i didnt but he’s taken, essentially. or if i had done things differently, would this be different? i dont know.
on top of it all he wants me to date his friend, whom I know things wouldnt work with but fuck man. I dont want to be alone right now. but i am/ will be.
and i wanted to sleep with him and i did, and i wish i remembered the conversation we had while we were drunk. something alone the lines of me being upset with him when i found out he slept with brina. but now he’s beating himself up over it because he feels like he cheated on her and shouldnt have done anything with me (even though they arent together, ish). i dont fucking know.
why are things so complicated sometimes?