You’re so damn hard to please, we gotta kill this switch

Oh I go to practice EVERY DAY AND YOU DON’T PUT ME ON THE ROSTER.

It’s cool.

 I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.

I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, i let it burn.

I don’t care, i love it.

 

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Troublemaker

Does being fat mean I get sex but no respect? What the fuck.

Like, you douchebags are taking sexual harassment to a new level. And this time I’m about THISCLOSE to legitimately reporting you.

I have “potential” you say? YOU DON’T. FUCK OFF. Seriously? That’s not how this works. It’s called dating. And you get the job of wooing me. Which, FYI is a nonexistent job in your case. We may have hooked up but I no longer have any connection to you, other than I WANT MY JACKET BACK YOU ASSHOLE.

Seriously. One month til graduation. And I’m gonna try my hardest to leave all this damned baggage behind me.

On a few other notes, WILL. God damn I think I asked him to be fwb. I also think I’m gonna ignore him now. Clearly he is no good for me.

Talked to an absolute GORGEOUS HOTTIE Friday. Too bad he has a girlfriend. Efff. And does chewing tobacco. Double fuck no.

And then there’s Michael. Umm, we played lax but I’m getting weird vibes. My roomie warned me he’s bad. But like, he is a friend. And I’ve already slept with the guy (even if I don’t remember it)… I know who he is and just how bad it is too.

So time to bask in the attention and leave it at that. Ain’t nobody for time for that. Or any relationship right now. I’ll be gone soon enough.

You’re a trouble maker…

she will be loved

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Hit me with your best shot

I know I’m a failure. But can we just pretend that I’m not for a little? Just a little.

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Everyone is saying I’m all grown up…I’ve come a long way but I’m not there yet

I’m so stressed out I cant even function. Normally playing lacrosse makes me happy. It’s so much fun. But lately I havent been enjoying it at all. I’ve been sucking, and it’s just not fun.

I keep thinking about school and grad school and applications and just HOW MUCH I SUCK. At everything. and it is ridiculous.

I put off giving teachers things for TWO WEEKS. TWO FUCKING WEEKS. what the hell.

and I just ran into Will. Who I can’t stop thinking about. But he already told me he doesnt “like me like me.” Can’t I just stop thinking about all the negatives in my life right now FOR ONE SECOND.

Jeez after Thursday I’ll be done my midterms, it will be spring break, and hopefully I will FINALLY finish all my goddamn fucking school applications and pray to god I get in ANYWHERE. (but hopefully boston). and Hope that If i need to retake my MCATs I can.

😦

Study time. Hopefully I can focus.

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Kiss me

Call me a slut, a tease, a whore, whatever the fuck you want.

It was a mistake telling you to come over last night/ I shouldnt have done it. And you couldnt take fucking no for an answer? No I didnt have any fucking condoms, and no I didnt want to have sex with you. Can’t you just take the no and LEAVE?

jeez, pretended I was asleep to get this asshole to leave. Really?!? 

I feel horrible, and I don’t even know why. What a mistake, texting him. And then I just felt guilty, like I was sorry for the other guy. WHO I STILL FUCKING LIKE BEING WITH AND WANT TO BE WITH HIM BUT HE DOESNT LIKE ME LIKE THAT. fuckitallman. fuck.

lonely, and depressed about school and shit. 

blah.

also, I tried a brownie for the first time. It was interesting. 

but um, I think I’ll stick with getting drunk, thanks.

fuck graduating when you have NO IDEA what the fuck you are doing. 

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Whataya want from me?

I am not just a number.

I am a person.

I am smart, capable, friendly, nice, hard working.

my numbers- they may or may not allow or block me from going to the places I want to go. But no matter how long it takes. Ill do what I can to get there.  or maybe I should just change.

i dont know.

I’ve got a long night of studying ahead of me.

 

Hopefully, I can ignore the number floating around in my  head. The one that is defining me right now.

It’s my MCAT score, and yeah. It’s pretty damn important.

Like usual, I’ve managed to fuck that up too. 

 

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One way or another

You are such a fucking hypocrite I can’t even begin to start right now. After all the times I sat there with you letting you wallow in sorrow about a stupid BOY, and you bitch to me about one day of SORROW FROM FAILING MY MCAT AND RUINING MY FUTURE JUST BECAUSE IT SUITS YOUR NEEDS?

FUCK OFF. The reason you have no real friends is because you’re a shitty one.

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